Layoff Dayoff #2 (...69)

All week my running pal Mark said we were going to "crush it" on our Saturday morning run.  This made me dread my early morning workout today...anticipating the discomfort of an uncomfortable pace.  7AM felt painfully early and 55 with no sun felt chilly.  But we did crush it...sort of...maybe not for some folks, but for me, an 8 minute pace is really very tough to sustain for 15 miles.  The rest of the day my legs felt crushed.  And the rest of me too.  But a nice kind of crushed.  It's a good exhausted feeling that makes the simplest things, like eating a good meal, having a cup of coffee, and sitting on the sofa feel far better than usual.

Layoff Dayoff (...82)

After a group bike/run/bike adventure today I'm too exhausted to write, so I've been staring out my window for the last hour.  Plus, a gal should rest once in a while and enjoy a day off from layoff talk.  No layoff talking, writing, researching, or planning.  It's hard to do and I've broken this rule a few times already today.  Next Sunday I'll take a 2nd stab at it.

1 Mental Health Day is Good, 2 is Better (...86 days)

Paris lunch, April 2010

Today I worked out, bought a printer (a requirement for this layoff period), Spring cleaned my condo (part, not all), looked for deals on an iphone attachment I need, and ate lunch with a jolly, dashingly handsome Irishman, my friend Alan. 

Alan and I had lunch at Petit Robert, a French cafe in the South End, alfresco style.  It was a gorgeous April afternoon!  We gladly sat outside reminiscing about our three week vacation in Paris last year where we sipped cappuccinos and gawked at impressively stylish Parisians.  We didn't mean to take a 3 week vacation (it sounds so luxurious doesn't it!).  We planned for 1 week but got "ashed-in" along with some other friends when Iceland's Volcano erupted.  Those weeks were similar to how I'm feeling right now, in layoff land:  I'm uncertain of how long I'll be stuck here and of how much I can relax and enjoy my myself.

Luckily, when I'm out with a friend enjoying a meal, it's hard not to pretend my new gig is being "a lady who lunches."  I get out from under my laptop, put on some nice duds, and head out to a restaurant.  Gratefully, I've had invitations from good friends to meet for lunch during their work day...to break up my "work" day.  When I'm on my way to meet a friend, I kinda feel like one of those women about town that I see all dressed up but with seemingly no obligations.  Where do they work? What do they do?  How do they have time to enjoy the weather, strolling down Newbury street?  I don't really want to do that with my free time, but I do think about what their lives might be like being able to choose their work, unconcerned about income.

I'd love to have more free time than I did with my job, as I think everybody does.  But, want I want most is to find a job that I can sink my teeth into and for which I have enduring energy.  I have that with all my personal projects:  I'm diligent, undistracted, and prolific.  Challenges are compelling, not burdensome.  And the only reward I need is my own satisfaction.  Of course, I'm not a "lady who lunches" and all that it implies.  I need to earn money to make personal projects possible. However, this blog is the Ruskin Project, to find work that I can put my heart into.  So, I need to find work that combines my interests and an income.  And that's what I plan to do.